didn't had any time to blog these few days.
was with my BI.
so was quite busy.
anyway, today had helped BI to clean up his room
and also arrange his furniture.
hmms, today wasn't really very happy.
due to PEPPER didn't ate his dinner.
& the feeling was damn heart pain.
but anyway, thanks to BI who had transfer money to PEPPER.
den PEPPER had his dinner.
PEPPER even chatted with BI about many things.
which i wasn't really sure about it.
but hopefully,PEPPER and BI will get along.
so all the video and photo had not uploaded yet.
so got to delay.
so i'm going to stop till here.
as the whole evening of work is making me tired.
writtern @1:58 AM
today wasn't a enjoying day with BI.
we quarrel as both of us had our own problem.
mine was about money issue.
was broke for this month starting from today.
as for BI, he might drop dorm.
cause of my fault.
i dunno whether who's fault it was.
but i think it was mine.
but when BI blowed off, his attitude had changed.
he's tone of voice and everything.
yes, he was angry.
but i couldn't get use to it.
he was so sweet and caring all along.
he tolerate whatever attitude i gave.
but today, i dunno what happen.
everything was different.
i felt weird.
BI said he was feeling normal, but i dun.
i almost said break.
because i wanted to see whether he still love me after how he treated me.
i used this break as a test.
but ended up, i failed to hide my emotions.
i cried out so loud. cause it hurts me.
i couldn't forget how he shouted me.
even though, he said he didn't.
but the tone is different from the past on how he treated me.
i was sorry for making so much burden to him.
if i had knew what BI was going through, maybe i wont had acted that way.
but today i had realise alot of things.
that i really can't let him go & it was hard to me to imagine what if he had left me one day.
i really hope that he will understand that when i am in a bad mood.
i needed to cool down.
because i wanted to prevent us from quarrelling.
and i dunno why when i get moody,
i can't voice anything out.
i wanted to speak up, to tell what is wrong with me.
but i couldn't!
i wanted to tell BI all my sorrows.
i wanted to hug him and cry.
but he was angry and i dun have the guts.
i'm helpless at that point of time.
but BI was angry with me.
i wanted to let him go, cause i was a different person when i fall.
BI dun understand it, and he talks in a mean manner.
every single words still flash through my mind.
it really hurts me. every word pierce through my heart.
sometimes i wonder, do i had some illness or what.
i wasn't myself. i wasn't
guess that wasn't me at all...
Labels: for what they want is to make you smile., never avoid someone you love
writtern @8:23 PM
GOSH! was having much fun today.
BI and i made video.
was so damn lame can.
and he even dance jumpstyle for me.
dunno why i just find it that,
when he was dancing, i find him look more like a monkey.
as his hands was swinging so madly.
so had written some notes for BI.
& he even brought it back to hostel.
i even made a CHEER UP card for him.
cause he wasn't happy this morning.
as he got to write a statement.
so i hope that little card will cheer him up.
even though, there is no magic or whatsoever.
was just being so lame today.
played with super glue.
i mean not sniffing it.
but putting it on my hand.
BI was giving me disgusted looks.
so it's so totally funny can.
the looks on his face was damn funny.
so took another video of BI banging real walls.
he was shouting pain.
was laughing like mad,
video will be put up soon.
writtern @5:04 PM
haven been blogging these two days.
was busy with BI.
as saturday, his homeleave was at 5pm.
so we got to rush to BUGIS to collect our couple tee.
then when we headed home, it's already 8plus.
sunday, we went to the AFA event
and i had saw alot of people cosplaying.
was so damn nice can.
their costume and everything.
GOSH! i wanna be like them too.
and guess what, i was only wearing gothic clothes.
& there is this lady wanted to take photo with me.
was so damn no link can.
but was having alot of fun.
so this week BI is coming out on thursday i guess.
damn happy for him.
hope time will past faster man.
so today had meet BI outside his hostel again.
then after school, we went home and slacked.
and you know what?
today BI was acting so stupid.
i asked him to bang the wall in the train
and he really did it.
it was really a hard one.
had video it up.
so will be posting it up, i guess
hmms, had taken photo on saturday and sunday.
but did not had the chance to post it up.
so will be up by this week.
btw our first month anniversary is coming.
did a little token for him.
he said it was nice.
even my naughty student said it was nice to.
gosh! BI even keep it so carefully.
sweet of him huh?
BI i miss you so much.
Labels: it will flow so fast that you did not realise it, time is like a river
writtern @5:00 PM
finally back home.
was wasting my time playing facebook resturant city.
GOSH! so lame can
anyway, was hoping BI to had some surprise for me.
like homeleave today?
but ended up, it still remain the same.
so was waited for BI outside his school.
thought 9am he will be out for break.
but in the end, the school changed to 10am.
had waited for so long.
so waited for him to get dismiss from school.
& we headed to his house as he was dismiss at 12.30pm.
lucky he had sign out at 2.10pm
so had an hour plus to slack when we reached his place.
so watched some stupid show.
so on our way, we took some photos.
but i couldn't be able to upload it now.
as my computer had been reformat.
& my software data is at BI's house.
so had to wait for tomorrow to upload it.
shag!
today might be a busy day.
had to go BI house to fetch his mother to his hostel family day.
and i will be acting as his coursin.
GOSH MAN! i dunno what to say.
but worst is, i am broke.
and my ez-link had run out of money.
HOW?! i couldn't take from my dad either.
borrow from mum?
i can't. she will start her complain.
stressful man-,-
what to do? can anyone help me?!?!?!
Labels: i can't wait for tomorrow.
writtern @4:55 PM
today was so tired man.
had been carrying my clothes all the way to BI hostel.
but ended up took a stop to his hostel and waited for him
hmms, so went to his house and left the things there.
BI had passed me his phone
so as to let him listen to his songs during his family day.
so waited for him as usual.
took some photos when i'm bored.
and even played lame games from my phone
GOSH!
& guess what?
it started to rain so heavily.
and BI school shoe got wet.
you know why?
cause his shoe had a hole on the bottom of the shoe.
so the water went in.
cute right? that shoe been passed down by angus(daddy)
& i dun understand if BI is used with wearing shoes with hole or what.
he simply kept wearing shoes that had holes.
because his shoe was wet after school.
we went to his house again.
to slack awhile while he changed his shoe to another pair.
which also had a BIG HOLE on the tip of his toe.
he said that water would not went in.
but when we reached his hostel outside.
he told me his socks was wet.
i was laughing like mad when he told me that his shoe was a crocodile
begining, he told his friend it's stingray.
now he had changed shoe, he told me it was crocodile
GOSH! nothing much to say about him.
super creative imagination.
hmms, i guess his homeleave shoe what kind of animal will it be
as he's shoe had a big hole too.
at the side of it's shoe.
guess BI was so pathetic to buy a new shoe.
but no worries. his dad had given him money.
but he spend it on eating.
he was eating SOOOO MUCHHH!
been having a bad mood today.
was so tired too.
people had been so irritating to ask me to introduce girls to them.
but HELLO! do i look like one match-maker AUNTY?!?!
i had said many times.
i dun have any GIRLS to introduce.
you wan, ahgua can a not?
i'm trying to be nice to everyone.
but please know your limit.
dun fcuking pester me just because you had some relationship with me.
you all dun treat me like one, so what for i had to do something you wanted me to help?
i'm not that stupid.
if you had the attraction, find it yourself.
dun claim yourself as handsome when you can't even find a girl to talk with.
BI, help me man!
i'm so fcuking hot right now.
been trying to control my temper.
GOSH! i've been having a heartache when you left.
and now, frustration started to occur to me.
i really hope you will be there to help me get ride of my frustration.
you always makes me laugh or smile when i get angry.
and now you wasn't with me.
btw i'm sorry for lying to you.
you asked me to take the umbrella.
instead i told you on my way home had shelter.
but the fact is, it dun.
i got wet but it's alright.
i just dun wan you to get sick, do i get myself clear.
another one week and you will have trail homeleave.
congratulation! and you wont have to make me wait for you.
to come out from school, to come out for homeleave and everything.
i can't wait for that day.
today it's really a good news to me.
just hope time will past faster right now.
BI, i miss you so much although it is less than 24hours.
maybe i'm just so totally crazy over you.
i will miss you too BI.
i really will.
if that it is possible, hopefully we can be able to work together.
awaiting for tomorrow to get to see you again.
although, i always walk there to look for you.
but i felt a satisfaction after that.
cause you are my determination for everything.
but hey, although you might get jealous easily sometimes
but you promised to trust me.
so you had to ok?
cause baby only had you and i will never betray you.
you are so cute, how will i be possible to let others had you?
obviously, i will save it for myself right?
BI, i really need your help now.
i'm going to burst out my temper anytime!
Labels: you promised to pick me up when i had a fall.
writtern @4:53 PM
i'm back from fetching BI back to hostel.
today time as been pasting so fast.
was almost late today.
but manage to see BI waiting for me.
anyway, today had quarrel with him.
because i thought he was showing me attitude.
GOSH! i dunno what is wrong.
he had been a very patient boyfriend.
even though, i was making a big fuss of it.
he had been tolerating.
thanks BI.
so after that, we are fine again.
hmms, so today he went home for awhile.
and i had apologise for what had happen before that.
glad that he had forgiven me.
so just read BI today's post.
LOLS! i'm really glad he is happy for what i had done.
BI, i dun care how tolerating it is to come early in the morning everyday.
as long as you are happy, that is my reward from you.
though i might show attitude at times.
but please forgive me.
it will always be my anger that makes word so nasty.
it's alright that you can't be accompanying me this friday.
but hopefully, you can be able to get a long homeleave.
maybe monday or tuesday?
GOSH! i started to miss you so much man-,-
just behaviour yourself and i will be satisfy.
i dun wan anything to happen to you.
you get what i mean?
i love you, & i'm not going to leave you.
every possible time to be with you, i will be there.
I PROMISE!
Labels: True love is hard to find.that why i feel so blessed to have a heart filled with yours and mine
writtern @4:19 PM
today was suppose to go for interview at orchard
but in the end, i didn't turn up.
cause everyone has been talking me that chanel wont hired me.
so was so turn off by their words and also can't stand to see BI one day.
so ended went to look for BI.
was hugging him so much.
as if we had not been meeting for months.
GOSH! i swear i wont leave him if i got a choice.
didn't expect it will be so tongku man.
so anyway, didn't do much
suppose i wasn't allow to drink cold drink.
but BI forgotten about it.
hence, i requested for bubble tea.
& in the end, i had a stomach cramp.
GOSH! almost can't bear it.
but BI was there to comfort me
LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
he even changed his CHILDISH blogskin to a better one.
miss him so badly right now man.
today, i started to realise how much i had relay on him.
even though, i might be boring to wait for him outside his school.
but i will always look forward for the few minutes of looking at him.
and within this few minutes,
he will always cheer me up and bring me laughter.
that is what, i was looking forward.
to pinch and bite him.
GOSH! i super love him alright?
hopefully, he will get early discharge.
it's so painful without him.
Labels: realise how much you loved him and treasure every moment you had
writtern @4:49 PM
i'm sorry for showing my temper today.
wasn't really meant to throw my tantrum on you.
guess something wasn't right today.
friends been telling me all sort of thing.
and yes, i was affected.
i'm afraid that we wont be like how we are now in future.
i'm afraid that i can't be hugging you in future.
& also i'm afraid that you wasn't there to comfort me when i feel scared.
the things that i've told you wasn't scaring you.
just that i'm afraid that it would happen.
i'm trying to distract those words from my mind.
but i can't. I'M SORRY!
maybe i'm just thinking too much.
BI, i love you so so much.
but still i'm afraid.
to get hurt again.
the feeling is been killing me every single time.
& i can't stand it.
this time round, i'm afraid too.
i can't imagine if one day i had to let you go.
i really can't afford to lose you.
maybe this is the time for me to scan through my brain
to think of how to not get disturb by words.
i really look forward for us to me together as long as we are.
hopefully, i wont get affected.
BI, i will be waiting for you to come out.
rest assume that i wont flirt around although i was pulling your leg saying that i will.
just wanna see your face.
so BI, do have trust in me.
i loved you so much.
how on earth would i bear to leave you?
as long as you dun leave me.
i will be so happy already.
Labels: never to listen to what others gonna say about you
writtern @4:32 PM
14 NOVEMBER 2009: BI and daddy fetch me from work!!!
this post will be updating on 13 & 14 november issue.
yesterday was not be able to post as today has to work.
so slept early yesterday night.
14 NOVEMBER 2009
went work today. was so super shag man.
had to work with the new store manager.
was super damn boring.
anyway, a few customer had praised me for my service.
was very happ about that.
but unfortunately, there is this STUPID customer.
who thought that i followed her around the store.
which i didn't!
had ask me to stop following her.
was so super hot.
& yet she got the cheek to come back to the store and buy thing.
WHAT THE FCUK!!
really feel like slapping her face at that point of time.
was super turn off by her.
so wait for BI and daddy to come.
yet they was late for 25 mins!
and i had done extra time for the store.
but it's alright.
cause today i had inform the manager that i wanted to resign within this month.
so guess that will be fine.
so fter BI and daddy came,
we went to cold storage and BI brought hotdog and potato for dinner.
then we headed to clementi kopitiam and had daddy's lunch.
while i buy kangkong for $5 and took it away.
after daddy had his meal, we headed to causeway point
as daddy wanted to buy ear stud.
so we accompany him as it was his request.
shopping awhile, we headed home.
and BI cooked maggie mee with those hotdogs and potato.
we ate our dinner while watching ASTRO BOY!
the latest movie.
so now, BI was scanning through his baby photo
and claim that he is cute man-,-
OMG!!! i can't stand him
and i'm so freakking tired now.
so after complete this post, will be sleeping already.
YAWN!!!
so this were the picture that i've took today!
angus daddy cassandra joverst BI
13 NOVEMBER 2009: SHOPPING!
BI came out from school at 12.30pm.
we headed to woodland checkpoint and had a look.
and he brought each of us a ring.
which was made of rubber-,-
but no worries soon it will be metal.
he promised.
so we went there to buy cigarette
which BI promise to try the new cigarette
MARLBORO ICEBLAST
it was like shit man.
didn't really had an different at all.
GOSH! the mint tasted like medical oil
and it didn't last ver long.
but was fun to play the ball in the filter.
so we was suppose to meet daddy.
but ended up was raining.
had extended the meeting time later and later.
daddy got frustrated and didn't wait for us
and he left to bugis with his two friends and sister.
so when around 4pm we leave his house and went to bugis.
we went to buy couple tee that i had promse my friend the previous weekend.
so brought it and headed to find my sister.
as i had promised her.
so was talking to her for a moment.
then we head to shop around.
when it was time, we left plaza singapura.
BI even brought crab for me to eat man.
was so freakking happy.
THANKS BI! LOVE YOU...
so after eating i went to sleep.
JOVERST's
COPYCAT & COPYDOG
although, our nickname for each other are childish.
but you will never expect how much alike we are.
the things that we like and the personality we had.
that is the fact, but this is what make us so UNIQUE.
wasn't afraid to feel embrass.
as long as there are accompany for eaach other.
i love him that is the truth.
no matter how long we will be,
i will never know. so does he
but everyday, we had been expecting different laughter.
to laugh about and to cheer one another up.
the droplets of tear came from one another,
will each pierce through our heart.
that makes it so painful.
it wasn't how much we sarcifice for one another.
but the bonding that we had created till this amount of extend.
even though, how much people words tried to disturb me.
i will always choose to hold onto this little hope
as this is the only thing i'm concentrating about.
was trying my best not to show him any attitude.
not because i'm afraid we will quarrel.
but afraid he will leave me.
neither of my attitude did really shown out.
but my sensative characteristic had been show.
i dunno what is going on with me.
but was trying my best to control my negative point.
no matter how hard a relationship could be.
it will always depend on the willingness to speak it out.
talking truthfully with each other.
and not afraid to get into any conflicts.
so this is what i've learn form JOVERST LEE GIM SIANG!
writtern @11:28 PM
today ALASKAN called me in the morning.
talking all the cock and bulls as we haven been updating each other for a period of time.
so went to fetch BI from hostel as usual.
and send him to school.
waited for him to be dismiss.
i was so broke today man.
been trying to save money but couldn't
so had been planning our outing.
anyway, you know what?
BI drawn me chip and dale free handed.
awww... how sweet huh?
he even drawn it alike man.
i love it so much lorhs.
so as normal, was tensing BI that i wont fetch him.
and he seems so sad.
so i asked BI what style he want me to wear.
as usual, he said cute immediately.
so been cracking my brain and think about it.
till i reached home and take all my clothes out to try it out.
finally, i found a pair that will lead to this theme BI had wanted.
it was a sort of long sleeveless shirt, and a shorts with a star jacket
plus my black shoes.
my hair will be tied side up and i will be wearing blak nerd glasses.
think that should be ok huh?
hopefully, wont fail to attempt my japanese style.
GOSH! i can't wait for tomorrow when i'm going shopping with BI.
planned to go home straight after his school.
then let him change into outing clothes
and head to bugis to buy couple tee.
then will be going plaza singapura to find my sister, josephine.
after that, our last stop will be woodland check point.
hopefully, will be having enough time.
if not, i gonna be so shag.
cause saturday will be working and i got to see the fcuk up new manager!
i'm just wondering if the time will past fast that day.
hopefully, angus will be following us tomorrow.
writtern @7:23 PM
yesterday was too tired to blog.
so didn't update.
hais. today wasn't a very nice day.
early in the morning send BI to school as usual.
den waited for him until his 9am break.
been reading books.
after that about afternoon, yixin came and look for me.
ask me for cigarette while we talked.
and i realised that what BI said is different.
in common sense, normally people will believe outsider what.
so i decided to ask BI.
and the answer wasn't very convincing.
i thought i could as him without feeling any pain.
but i was wrong.
when i asked him and his answer was a dunno.
i fall at that moment.
started to cry alot.
really dunno what is those crying for.
then BI seems quite frustrated.
but he kept saying sorry.
suppose his study camp ended at 1.30pm but instead he came out at 1pm.
we talked for a period of time
and i admitted that i cried.
seems like he dun really know what to do when comes to me crying huh?
i couldn't laugh when he makes funny jokes
but slowly i could.
i even bite him and he was shouting out loud man.
so anyway, today some sort of had a quarrel with BI.
but after while, everything went back to normal.
guess i didn't bear to get angry with him.
and when i told him i went to toilet,
he thought i had took a bus home.
GOSH! i really nothing to say man.
almost laughed.
writtern @7:23 PM
LOLS! back to blogging again.
this morning as usual had send BI to school.
and wait for him to get dismiss.
he was kinda angry when he got dismiss
as a teacher of his school scolded him.
and he was started to like machine gun,
keep making alot of noise.
so when he cooled down,
we went to his school coffee shop to buy a pack of rice and share it.
due to us without any money.
we were two super damn pathetic people.
BI even went to do some business.
by sing a song for $1
it's like so unbelieveable can
his singing wasn't that nice at all.
plus nobody understand his english man-,-
so after that, we went back to his hostel.
as his level OM signed his book at 2.10pm dismiss.
so when we are on the way,
this guy who i dunno who is this.
been sleeping in the mrt.
his mouth as so super big can.
then BI and i was teasing him among ourselves
when we saw his guy was just like a dancing snake.
as his head keep moving up and down.
until it land on one of a middle age guy
and the middle age guy even say" win already lo"
as the sleeping guy did not wake up
BI and i was just laughing like mad.
so after the middle age man left.
the left side sat a girl.
who seems younger than BI and i.
she was like so afraid that the guy will fall on her.
but ended up, it didn't and was falling on another side of the seat when it was empty.
and he hited himself against the pole.
at the moment, BI and i was laughing till we got to cover ourselves with something.
so when it was at bukit batok.
this particular guy woke up
and was look at which stop he is.
he even step one he didn't slept overstop.
and got up to wait for the last station to alight.
but when everyone got up, he when to sit back again.
GOSH! i dun even know what to say.
and i could judge him as a nerd boy.
as his spec had broken on one side.
i really can't believe it man-,-
so today was a very funny day,despite all the waiting.
and i even took a photo of the man sleeping.
but didn't got to upload
as mu uncles had just changed a new PC.
the past data of mine are all gone.
so after sending BI back to hostel,
i took a bus home
and immediately fall asleep.
when i woke up, my company send me a msg that i dun need to come to work tomorrow.
it's so super ridiculous of the working hours can.
SHIT man! but nevermind.
guess tomorrow BI will got another surprise again.
and OH, BTW. i made BI something yesterday.
i gave it to him today morning.
hopefully, he will like it.
tomorrow will have to do morning exercise.
to walk to BI hostel outside.
dun really got the money to take a cab anymore
writtern @7:23 PM
i'm back again.
today it's a miracle..
BI and i manage to sleep until 9plus
as normally, we will wake up even though the sun haven come out.
two mad DOGS!
so later will be meeting my daddy for lunch.
LOLS! so guess what? we are still at home.
haven get ready yet.
GOSH! i love my nails even more lorhs.
look super stylo.
haha! will think about any new pattern by next week.
den will post it on blog.
so guess got to get prepare already.
will be posting again tonight.
writtern @12:08 PM
Today went to BUGIS with BI, DADDY and idiot.
as it was idiot's birthday
felt so guilty when i had to let him wait for me for hours.
so went for shopping and i was attracted by one of the clothes.
but unfortunately, it cost about $80 plus.
so decided to buy it maybe next week.
brought many things, i spend over $50 plus
dun understand why.
didn't really had the chance to take any photo with idiot.
so after that, we went to plaza singapura to look for my sister.
as i had owe her a birthday card.
seperated with idiot as he needs to go for his birthday party.
and guess what? i decided to cut my hair.
and it was my newest looks.
BI said it's cute anyway.
hopefully my fringe wont grow that fast.
went to chapter 2 and cut it.
cost me $28, but it's worth it.
after that, we went straight back home as BI eyes was in pain.
on our way home, we even brought sushi and many more.
ws eating like crazy can.
slacked awhile and BI helped me to change my blogskin.
so sweet of him huh?
and today there is a BIG BIG JOKE!
BI, wore my mango spag and a shorts that i brought today.
i was lauging like mad can.
he super look like a CHAO AH GUA.
but didn't manage to upload the photo, cause there is some problem.
maybe that is fated.
AND I EVEN PRANK ANGUS!
BY ASKING BI TO LIE TO HIM THAT HE WAS WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
GOSH! THIS CAN SHOW HOW MY DAD LOVE ME.
so now BI was fast asleep, as he was so tired
he manage to do up my blogskin before sleeping.
so nice of him.
and i'm so freaking tired too.
will let the photo do the job..
MY SPEECH TO THEM!!
ANGUS TEO!
daddy, so long didn't meet you already.
miss you so much man.
hmms, although this photo you dun look nice.
but you will always be, my daddy.
it's been two years and yet we still contact each other.
when you went into hostel, i also went in too.
such a coincidence huh?
so anyway, i hope you will find a nice and faitful girlfriend n future.
so as to mend the pain in your heart.
though, you dun said it.
but we all know that you are hurt.
so must stay strong and forgive and forget.
lastly, i love you and will always be there for you.
JOVERST!!BI, thanks for doing this blogskin for me.
even though, how tired you are, you still manage to complete it.
and you promise to wait for me to complete blogging before sleeping.
but ended up, you fall asleep.
but it's alright. i know you are tired.
so it's ok. anw, i will always be yours.
will be awaiting for you to come out next week.
then we will shop till havoc.
better be good inside ok.
faster trail hor. i will be waiting
LASTLY, WISH US ALL THE BEST FOR THE FUTURE.I WILL BE HOPING TO BE WITH YOU AS LONG AS WE COULD.
writtern @1:06 AM
