Tuesday, November 3, 2009
just came back home.
was not feeling very well this morning.
so took a half day off.
thought of seeing a doctor.
but ended up, when to look for BI.
dunno what on earth am i thinking.
maybe i did took the off for him ba.
as i was actually, planned to meet him at sengkang after my work.
so anyway, met him outside his school the opposite block
brought my food as i haven had my meal.
wented to his house to slack awhile as he wanted to see what did i wrote on his facebook wall paper.
slacked about 3 plus, we took a bus to sengkang.
as he need to go for a program.
so accompany him through out the program.
GUESS WHAT? the stupid program is just slacking there can?
so after that, i followed him backed to hostel.
hais. the pain is always killing me when i had to see BI go back hostel.
imagine looking at your loves one's backview slowly apart from you.
sometime, it really makes my heart ache.
i dunno why this pain occur to me several times whenever i bring him back to hostel.
actually, sometimes i'm afraid that he will be like richard.
playing around with my feelings when he's out.
but after all, i had to give it a try.
just because richard played me out, does not mean he will.
so i was just hoping for the best
in between this short period of time, i did had some strong feeling for him.
but i wonder, should i really put this relationship seriusly this time round AGAIN?
afraid of many things.
many times the pain is always coming towards me.
got played out so many times.
really feel like giving up.
but this time round, i still choose to give it a try.
i hope i wont let it go anymore.
maybe i might be controlling next time that he can't tolerate
but i just really wants him to be mine and only mine.
whether his sweet talks is true or not,
i dunno. but all i need now is truthfulness.
in future, he got someone better.
i will always give him my blessing even though how hurtting it is.
i will fall and i really will.
but what matter the most is making him happy.
this relationship might just be a puppy love
like what my friends say.
but please prove them wrong.
for i really hope i wasn't.
BI said that he loves me and i really hope he did.
i'm looking for a long relationship
& not a temporary one.
as it's time for me to get serious this time round.
i dun wanna think about the future, as it will only makes me disappointed.
so whatever it's coming towards me,
i will face it and let it go with a smile.
& lastly, i loves and misses my BI
