does adults always look so fake in front of outsiders?
these few months, i really looked clear of what my boyfriend parents are.
FAKERS!
the father, was just someone that only cares for his small little daughter.
no matter how wrong his daughter is, he will never blame her for it.
instead baming others.
been always nagging at my boyfriend in whatever things.
the main thing is, what have he see us doing a part in the house?
answer is : NOTHING!
he thinks that all we are capable of is eating and sleeping.
sometimes, when we help to do some household chorus.
he will still insist that we dun.
because, he works from the morning to the middle of the night.
how on earth he will see it with his own eyes.
people in my boyfriend family are selfish!
they do things without my boyfriend.
they clean the house, without cleaning my boyfriend's
what is this? i thought family should help one another?
but i dun see it in this family.
they expect my boyfriend to help them do things,
but they dun help him.
sometimes, i felt pity for him abit.
why do people never see the good points?
and always judge in the bad points?
i am a outsider of the family, i cant do much.
but this father of his will never realise how good his son is.
how much his son had do.
all he does is to throw temper on his son.
even his father himself dun even know what he really wanted and expected from his very own son.
if he claim that the mother is not good, then what about him?
saying his own son useless, saying whatever hurt his son.
then what is the use of being a father of 3 child?
when you yourself will never undertstand them.
and do you counted as a man when you dun pay for the house bills and expect you wife to do it?
being your wife and child is hard.
i am really glad i'm not your child.
but think of you like me feel sickning.
you dun ever realise how much pain you had caused to your son.
never you will realise.
cause all you think is YOURSELF!
writtern @12:10 PM
Joverst Lee arh, Joverst Lee.
i really dunno how on earth to believe you anymore.
things that i saw and things that you said is so much different.
you said you helped me rebirth, but it still remain the same.
you said facebook added friends on it self when you did not add them nor accept them.
but why does my facebook dun and yours will.
the people in the server said there is no roll back, den why only mine.
STOP ALL THE NONSENSE!
they are just bullshit.
ONCE A LIAR, ALWAYS WILL....
i'm in great disappointment in you.
how can i convince myself to believe your ridiculous stories?
why dun you have the guts to just tell me the truth, instead of telling lies.
and expect me to believe you?
i'm not a 3 years old kid ok?!
and by crying, you can make me believe you?
you had no proof for what you done.
if you dun wanna help me train, say it straight to my face!
dun lie to me and tell me you did.
but the fact is, you are training your account!
peoples are selfish, i can understand.
but you lying to me, and try to make yourself confident,
is out of the question. cause after all.
you told me, you were once a liar.
everyone does lie in their life, but just a small things you wanna lie about it?
what a nonsense!
you lie but you get nothing, once i believe in you.
but when i recall back, i was a fool.
it breaks my heart to realise everything.
if the past had become the past.
then things should meant to change, then i had face it.
but all i could say is...
Joverst Lee wasn't the past anymore.
Cassandra wasn't the fool in the past anymore.
so said the truth den to lie, as you will gain nothing.
why must you be among the same group of guys as them?
maybe the answer is there, because they are all guys..
Labels: i was heart broken because of all your lie.
writtern @1:36 AM
have been working these few days.
so might be blogging very seldom.
anyway, here are some updates.
so firstly, i had a big quarrel with my dad,
dun really know what is going on currently.
but mainly, we had spilt into our own ways.
so can be able to consider that i am a girl, without a father.
now still feeling great now.
still had my BI with me.
just currently had some financal difficulty.
but BI's parents adore me alot.
been treating me like their own daughter.
was really grateful about it.
so was trying to repay them some how.
but couldn't think of any ideas...
now i'm still working in HOME-FIX.
back to square one again.GOSH!~
guess, i couldn't get use to working in F&B line.
now my lifestyle is work and home only.
didn't really bother to go out and had some new fresh air.
was to lazy, thanks to my BI.
for making me such a habit~
HOHO!~
now BI was beside me, making some noise.
he is currently reading what i am posting.
he even said " eh! eh! eh! what habit? "
guess he was just pushing the blame and saying that it was not him making it as my habit.
now this idiot, trying to say i am MAD!~
but he is the one, that is going mad.
he told me he had a good news and bad news.
i told him, i wanted to hear the bad new first.
he said " this saturday, i couldn't be able to accompany you,"
" and the good news is, this saturday i can be able to accopany you."
TOTALLY IS SO DAMN COCK LARHS!~
he den started to laugh like mad?
GOOSH! guess only mad people, will said someone that is not mad, a mad.
i am so freaking going to slap his face now.
if that MMMAAAADDD SCIENTIST wont stop laughing.
first, he told me about ZOMBIE
then TOWER that spread chemical.
after that, Tsunami house protecter.
dunno what his brain thinking.
he said the house is made by Cement and Metal.
DAMN COCK la.
he wanted something that is impossible.
so just currently, treating him like a Small Kid
and entertain him.
NOW... cassandra predicted that Joverst will said i had hurt him.
so now, i got to stop here and entertain my BI.
writtern @11:43 PM
hey, guess my blog is dead for a period of time.
anyway, didn't know which idiot had tagged my blog and saied trust me, you forever de.
guess this person had just nothing much to do.
anyway, today had a great time with BI.
and for that ... person who dun even dare to put his/her name.
he/she is just so old dated.
didn't had the eyes to read the date of it.
my problem do not need someone like you too care.
comment about yourself before commenting me.
but anyway, i just dun wanna get my mood spoil by this bitch/bastard.
today went for a job interview and was surprise that they called me in the evening.
to tell me that i was given the post.
OMG!~ but bi was also disappointed too.
as he had not been called.
i am praying hard for him.
anyway, went to tampines to buy a jacket for BI's mother
& also brought BI's school bag and he even brought a bag for me too.
how sweet of him huh?
then we headed to lavender to pass my sister her DVD which i borrowed from her.
after that, we went to CHINATOWN to look for BI's parents.
as i told BI i wanna eat riceball.
so he bring me to his parent work place and eat.
after that, we headed home...
btw yesterday was our 2nd month.
HAPPY 2nd MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!
writtern @9:34 PM
it's been so long since i had blogged.
been playing maple all day long.
things isn't going fine with me.
sometimes i wonder, does relationship really will last as sweet as before?
i dunno. been getting frusrated all day long.
what is the fcuking wrong with me?
i'm afraid. afraid that my feeling will went off.
i dun wan, and i'm trying to control.
but seems like nothing works that will make me cool down.
maybe my true colour had came out, or whatso ever.
i dunno. i need someoe to guild me.
i hate this part right here.
when i can only stand there and do nothing.
it's been a month plus with him,but why do we still keep quarrelling?
i thought we are the most matching ones.
but whythings turns out this way?
i dun wan!
really hope things will be back to normal.
i really envy all my friends that is surrounding me.they had been wit heir loves one like me.
but that wasn't the same.
they had been give in to their loves one, but why i can't?
i'm tired of it, and still i didn't wanna give up.
everything just sucks to the core.
i'm falling down right now.
but nothing is able to mend it.
and so, i'm just going to face every single things that will going to be happening.
writtern @7:05 PM
didn't had any time to blog these few days.
was with my BI.
so was quite busy.
anyway, today had helped BI to clean up his room
and also arrange his furniture.
hmms, today wasn't really very happy.
due to PEPPER didn't ate his dinner.
& the feeling was damn heart pain.
but anyway, thanks to BI who had transfer money to PEPPER.
den PEPPER had his dinner.
PEPPER even chatted with BI about many things.
which i wasn't really sure about it.
but hopefully,PEPPER and BI will get along.
so all the video and photo had not uploaded yet.
so got to delay.
so i'm going to stop till here.
as the whole evening of work is making me tired.
writtern @1:58 AM
today wasn't a enjoying day with BI.
we quarrel as both of us had our own problem.
mine was about money issue.
was broke for this month starting from today.
as for BI, he might drop dorm.
cause of my fault.
i dunno whether who's fault it was.
but i think it was mine.
but when BI blowed off, his attitude had changed.
he's tone of voice and everything.
yes, he was angry.
but i couldn't get use to it.
he was so sweet and caring all along.
he tolerate whatever attitude i gave.
but today, i dunno what happen.
everything was different.
i felt weird.
BI said he was feeling normal, but i dun.
i almost said break.
because i wanted to see whether he still love me after how he treated me.
i used this break as a test.
but ended up, i failed to hide my emotions.
i cried out so loud. cause it hurts me.
i couldn't forget how he shouted me.
even though, he said he didn't.
but the tone is different from the past on how he treated me.
i was sorry for making so much burden to him.
if i had knew what BI was going through, maybe i wont had acted that way.
but today i had realise alot of things.
that i really can't let him go & it was hard to me to imagine what if he had left me one day.
i really hope that he will understand that when i am in a bad mood.
i needed to cool down.
because i wanted to prevent us from quarrelling.
and i dunno why when i get moody,
i can't voice anything out.
i wanted to speak up, to tell what is wrong with me.
but i couldn't!
i wanted to tell BI all my sorrows.
i wanted to hug him and cry.
but he was angry and i dun have the guts.
i'm helpless at that point of time.
but BI was angry with me.
i wanted to let him go, cause i was a different person when i fall.
BI dun understand it, and he talks in a mean manner.
every single words still flash through my mind.
it really hurts me. every word pierce through my heart.
sometimes i wonder, do i had some illness or what.
i wasn't myself. i wasn't
guess that wasn't me at all...
Labels: for what they want is to make you smile., never avoid someone you love
writtern @8:23 PM
